Quick Update on Love them

Love Them is officially in the process of becoming a legally recognized Non-Profit organization in the state of New Hampshire. Crazy, huh? I’m still in shock and thrilled! My first meeting with the lawyers happened at the start of this week. It was INCREDIBLY nerve racking! Having two pair of lawyer eyes starring emotionless at you as you sit between them sharing your biggest of life’s dream. But I left the meeting with high hopes and more importantly, two dedicated lawyers. 

It overall went WONDERFULLY! I received answers I had been questioning since before leaving from Uganda back in 2013. There are some things that I cannot go into detail with yet. Not because of some big secretive law reasons but simply because I have to make some big decisions and I haven't the answers to how or what I’m going to do. I will update all I can when the information is 100% decided and final, though. 

I did, however, want to inform you where I am going this year. My lawyers didn’t have a time on when everything would be finalized, but knowing the process is going forth for sure I am planning ahead. I will need to do as much fundraising as I possibly can. As in any business or organization the starting years are rough. Yes, I save a certain amount weekly, no matter what for the ministry alone, but I know realistically Love Them cannot run off that alone. 

So, in Feb. (end) Jonathan Mancha, Mickala Meany, Jessica Blais and possibly some others have agreed to perform a worship night in order to help with some of these costs. It will be donation only and I HOPE to be able to have any checks made out to Love Them to be tax deductible. But that will be announced later. This is going to be such a FUN night!! Jonathan has done this for me before and he and whomever he plays with always always always makes it a good time! Truly each of these guys know how to bring it!! In EVERY WAY! Musically, comedy, with Jesus… truly uplifting, joyful people whom I am so incredibly blessed to call friends!! So, please COME check that out!! Location will be determined so be sure to be on the look out!!

I also would like to start an annual 5k run in April. This year I will be looking into starting it in New Ipswich. In May I’m hoping to do a home run contest. In June a 3-on-3 volleyball tournament. July or August my fingers are crossed for another concert night. Around October a bake sale… I’m pondering some “special” ideas for this to make it unique but cannot share those yet. And in November or December I’m researching a bowling team tournament. 

Also happening during the summer I am planning another backpack walk through Keene. Love Them will keep this as a part of the ministry. The goal is to go to the streets of the same city twice a year, once in the Summer and once in the Winter. After we go there twice (back to back) consider another city. I am also tentivaily planning a trip to Uganda in the winter, for about ten days. 

As you can see, a BUSY year ahead! All these ideas are just that… ideas. BUT I’m already looking into each of them and digging deeper to make them better and more outrageously fun! If you have any ideas or suggestions… please send me texts or message me on Facebook. I have started Instagram under handle Love_Them_Ministries and only post pictures of what is happening for the organization! 

My lawyers said in a few days (this was Monday) that I should receive some paperwork via email that I’ll need to sign and write a check for as well. So, any day I should have a little more information in regards to where the ENTIRE process stands. BUT, it IS moving forward!! If you want to donate and not care about tax deductible you CAN write a check to Krista Creighton and I will be sure it goes to helping change the world.

  I will try and give a more detailed update very soon. But check out Love Them Ministries Facebook page and also on instagram.

 Thank you EVERYONE!!

Love, Krista June

Why?

My first time walking the streets was in the winter of 2011. At first the idea seem ludicrous, but with a large group of friends going out to speak to the homeless and needy I figured why not? I wanna help people too! Heart pounding with nothing but nerves I had to quiet it somehow. It didn't take long before I realized just how powerful of an impact this sort of action could, would and should have on everyone involved. 

Everyone has a story. Some are filled with bravery. Some are silliness. Sadness, joy, love, let downs, brokeness, courage and a million other things are found amongst these stories. This isn't a new discovery to me, and it wasn't back in 2011 either. But what struck me with more force was the understanding that through all the down, miserable, horrific pasts that were presented to me, then and today, I had no answer to one question they would ask us time after time, “Why?” Why would a loving father, lord, allow such terrible hurts and situations to occur to such innocent, harmless, people? To this day I never try and answer this question. I have simply felt, “I have no answer. They are just in their fury. Their hurt is real. I understand why they wouldn't want to believe in God.”

I have listened to many histories and some are absolutely unimaginable. I have heard of deaths of entire families except the man before me. I’ve listened to stories of a father molesting his daughters, mothers having her children play Russian roulette with each other while herself and friends watch and laugh as if it were a game. I witnessed the excitement of finding out a baby was expected into the world to weeks later discovering the most precious thing in life actually lost its life. I have seen and heard stories of parents losing their babies for no known reasons. I, myself, have lost my mother to cancer and seen other diseases destroy and kill. I’ve heard of car accidents and drugs taking only children. Fathers beating mothers to death in front of their children. And, believe it or not, many other horrific events that have transformed lives. So, when I’m asked, “If God is real and loving, why would he allow these things to happen?” I am speechless. 

For many of you who know me, know that speechless isn't something A. that happens much and B. I am okay with. I like answers. Now four years into being a missionary and starting my own ministry were “street walking” will be a focus, I have found the hole in my heart for not knowing the answer to this question too large and too large to be “content” with. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a question I’ve never stopped searching out. But now, I am determined to find the answer. So, as I normally do in these situations, I started praying harder and harder and harder. (For those of you who don't know, I am a prayer warrior if nothing else. And I USUALLY hear God VERY clear and strongly.) I have been praying a lot about this answer for months now, for someone dear to me asked me over the summer this very question and I had no real answer for her. She, was one who told me of a couple of the incidences above. And since that day I’ve wanted to answer her and anyone else who ever asks me it. Another horrific situation that came to my attention yesterday had me especially praying out. “LORD!! ANSWER ME! HOW DO YOU EXPECT PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD SUCH HORRIBLE THINGS HAPPEN IN THEIR LIFE BELIEVE IN YOU!!! I KNOW YOU’RE NOT A GENIE AND YOU DON’T JUST GRANT WISHES, BUT I MEAN, COME ON!!! YOU COULDN’T HAVE SPARED THIS PAIN, THIS TIME?! I KNOW YOU COULD HAVE BUT TELL ME WHY YOU DIDN’T SO I CAN EXPLAIN!!” I sat in silence. Nothing. Frustrated and hurt I texted a friend I was just that. Then I went back to praying. (Quick disclaimer, I yell at God a lot. lol. Not in a fighting tone. In a desperation to know him tone. A pleading tone… a loud loud loud pleading tone. I trust he does nothing without love and that I will likely not get my way the way I want. lol. I do not ask for things to be MY way but that I understand HIS.) “FATHER? HELLO?! YOU THERE?” (I often do this until I feel his presence strongly.) “THEEEERE WE GO! OK, YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHY! HOW DO I EXPLAIN TO A HURT, ANGRY RESENTFUL HEART!?! YOU MADE ME SO I NEED DETAILED, NO SUGAR COATED BULL, ANSWERS TO FEEL I’VE GOT IT RIGHT, SO, HERE I AM… GIVE ME DIRECT!!” Nothing. To save time… this went on for about 15 hours. I’m about to give up as I wonder into my room for the night, “Lord?” I said, deflated from any kind of fight. “I just don’t get it. One day you’ll throw me a bone. Until then, I’ll stay silent when I hear their hearts breaking and crying. You know why… I don't need to. Peace.” And as I said, “peace.” I heard, “Child, trust me. Trust me. Trust me.” I wanted to speak a moment, ok, I wanted to interrupt. But I heard, “Child, still. Trust. Can you trust me, please?” I wanted to ask what that meant but felt it on my heart to not converse, to just hear. So I did.

The conclusion was simple but had me thinking further in-depth. How often do we want an answer and never hear? How often do we demand He reveals His end plan? Basically, how often do we feel “entitled”? A friend reminded me it isn’t us who actually makes the change in any persons life. It isn't what we do or not. The power is not in our hands whether or not the non-believer starts to believe. We literally haven’t any control over anything other than if God tells us to act, act. He says to speak, we speak. The rest lies in our trust in him. The cold harsh, truth is horrible things happen and we will never understand why. Also, we often feel, as believers that what we are doing isn't changing anything. Isn’t making any impact on anything. In reality we don’t always see the works that are happening WITHIN ones heart and soul. Sometimes it appears nothing is being stitched back together, no healing, no restoration is happening, but in reality the other person is sitting in awe and taking in all the truth spoken. Allowing the sewing that’s been needed for such a long time to occur. 

I would be lying if I said this answer settles well with me. It doesn’t. I want to be able to tell my friend, who asked, an EXACT scientific reason to why these horrible things happen. I want to, with my answer, change her faith. But with my faith I know my God and I know in time she and all the others will see the truth of His heart and love. The pain of the pasts haven't a set in stone truth for life. It can be healed and understood. When bearing through the storm, trusting is the only thing we can do. And when we seem side-lined, listening with an open heart.

Healing Rain is Coming Down,

Kris

A Dream & Healing

We were 18 again but with the experiences of today. The tassel rested to the left of my face and the speeches began. Searching the crowd I saw everyone, everyone but the valedictorian. The trip she would have had to travel was far and my heart felt sadden for no one else seemed to notice her absence. Out changing the world, making an impact on the children, sacrificing everything “comfortable” simply to improve a life. Yet, no one noticed but me. How was this real? The smartest in the class, doing the most important thing any of us were doing, and yet, nothing. 

I woke, asking God what this meant but before I could get an answer I was back in the gymnasium. Maybe round two would be different. Again I searched the crowd. Even the undergrads were the same to real life. People I’ve not seen or heard from in ten years were there. Still no valedictorian. As I approached the stage I felt the urge to not let her go unnoticed. But I was just a class clown with not a real thought or concern. I walked through the halls years prior with a phony smile and boisterous personality, now I had something “serious” to talk about? I couldn't fathom they'd react with anything less than a laugh in the face. At this time I tried to do what I normally can, control the dream and make the valedictorian appear. No luck. Not even a sibling or parent.

Yet again I found myself rolling over asking God if he was trying to speak to me. Again before I could hear anything I was back  to 18. The songs and speeches began again, the laughter and joy were heard through screams and excitement. I stood in the corner on the top of the bleachers, trying to not provoke any small talk but blend in. I was reminded of the speech that was given in one of the “Twilight” movies. In which she speaks on not knowing what the future holds but it was a time to learn. I couldn't help but to feel this was relevant, maybe not everyone but to me it was speaking. 

For the third time I woke and this time I was determined to understand the message. It felt like I woke too early before and God sprinkled some sleeping dust over me to continue speaking. This time I heard his message, “What we know today cannot change the past. What we had then won't always be. And what we hope will one day be again can be restored.”

I won’t go into great detail, but as I tried to continue to share why this dream was important I realized without you knowing this little detail none of it would make sense. The valedictorian of my class and I became good friends after high school. Throughout the years I did and said some regrettable things which tore us apart. To this day it is my only regret in life. I will note, I never meant to cause any of the damage.

“We’re not broken; just bent. And we can learn to love again.”-Pink. This lyric, from the first time I heard it, has wrecked my heart. Love is a choice. Forgiveness is the same. Sometimes both need to occur for peace to reign, but with the choice made to work hard and commit to resolving the hole in ones heart it can become a reality. Many times I am in fact responsible for 85% of the hurt but there is a 15% gap that I, myself, am responsible for loving and forgiving through. Sometimes, I’ve found, within that 15% there is room to love and forgive myself and not only the other party. Sometimes we need to learn that forgiving ourselves is the only way we can truly move forward. The only way we can truly mend a broken relationship and or heart. Not always is it the only way but it is a small portion.

I sit in years of regret, tears, heartache and turmoil. The situation with the valedictorian reminds me often of how imperfect of a human I am. The heartache and broken trust that resides within their heart crushes me on a daily basis, knowing I am responsible for it. I have prayed daily for restoration and forgiveness to be provided upon me. I have wished with all my strength; as though I was in a Disney movie and with enough hope a magical miracle would happen. I have often thought, “If I could only go back and change it, oh how great I would make it all.” But what I have wrestled with the most is that I cannot change anything. Thats probably because of the control issues I have, but that doesn't change the facts. I think God is trying to teach me is, no we cannot change the past because what we know isn't good. And what we had may not remain forever. But the errors, hurts, sorrow we may have caused doesn't necessary mean things cannot be restored and made new again.

I sit here praying daily for the restoration. I know, as it should, it will take a lot of time and proof that things would be different if everything were restored. I know I cannot talk my way back or convince anyone. Only in time and God can anything become new. Does that mean that my heart will not be torn daily until that time comes? No. It will. But the hope that I have fills in that hole of hurt a little more each day. I believe this comes through the ability to forgive myself and trust that the Lord will make old and broken things new and rebuilt. 

I share this dream not to share of my mistakes but because I believe someone reading this needs to hear that no matter how big you’ve messed up healing can come. My biggest fear is one of us will find death before complete healing but my hope and faith keeps me believing baby steps are being made. And even if inching our way year after year closer, one day the finish line will be crossed and beauty from ashes will be shown. I think many of us have a situation… regret like I speak of. I know Hollywood will often make it a love story regret. But whether a “I should’ve gone for it” or “I shouldn't have done that” I believe fully God can wash all things clean. So, loved ones, I ask you not to lose hope. Do not wish to go back and change it, for you learned and grew immensely through it. And though you do not currently have what you may have, do not believe this is set in any kind of stone. Time. Patience. Unconditional love and forgiveness… let those sink deep into your heart. I can promise you will see His mercy and tender heart and you will flourish in rebuilding what was once wrecked.

In Hopes to all Broken things are Restored,

Krista June

The Dreams & Struggles of 2014

Dearest Friends,

It’s been too long since I sat and wrote. There have been life changing things happening around me, what seems like daily. The biggest of these was moving out on my own for the first time, without being in the mission field and or school. Because of the move I’ve not had internet. I also averaged 70 hours a week working two jobs all of 2014. To say I’m exhausted would be an understatement. But with hard work and determination dreams come true. And that is exactly what is happening within my life!

With 2014 coming to an end I cannot help but to reflect. Even with my hands tied working those long hours I have seen God’s mercies come effortlessly (for the most part!). :) I have been able to make new friends, mainly through work, which is a feat in itself! I’ve seen babies coming into the world, changing lives just with the news they were going to be coming into the world. I’ve been tested in my character, my heart, and beliefs- all of which I believe I concurred at a level I didn't think I was capable of. The power of prayer for healing and restoration I have seen flourish. Friends have shown me smiles filled with pride and joy for my accomplishment have fulfilled my life in astonishing numbers. I’ve had fear freeze my heart for the first time ever. In result a scream fest between myself and our Lord insued. I shortly felt His grace and love as he pushed me to understand the choice was mine. I made one of the hardest, and regretted, choices of my life and arrived at the airport to board for Uganda, to only break down in tears and not ever leave american soil. I have laid down my rights to the life I’ve envisioned over and over. This year I’ve walked with my head down, up, looking back, and pressing forward. But I end the year on the highest of notes. 

After the Africa (Uganda) trip never happened I was feeling disheartened. I suppose the tears never stopped after I heard about the terrorist attacks just a half a mile from where I would be living specifically on the american people. Having the week off, sitting in my new apartment, I tried to fill the time. But my mind was always occupied thinking of my mission in life. Was this really my calling? To start a ministry and change the world… or attempt to? I had felt it was. But now? Deep sigh after deep sigh, doubt after doubt, prayer after prayer, effort after effort to let it go, I couldn’t. 

Thanksgiving was coming up and I still had money saved for Love Them. Whether I was to continue forward with this ministry or let it go I still had money I wanted to bless others with. I prayed a bit and landed on doing what I had initially wanted to do with the money, a back walk through a city. A back pack walk is a rather simple concept. Take a school bag, fill it with supplies- food, clothes, supplies that someone who is outside a lot and may need some help, then deliver them to the streets. The original plan was set between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I prayed and saw no reason to change it. I quickly, before I could change my mind again about doing this, I texted the friends God placed on my heart instantly. “Lord, tell me who. Go!” The first person replied within seconds, “Yes!!! I’d LOVE THAT! We can bring hot chocolate too!” Relief. “Yes!! FINALLY someone is on board!” were the thoughts that ran through my head. I shared the two dates I felt would be best, one worked for her, the other didn’t. December 14th would be the date then. With only a few weeks to plan and still working 65 hours and having been super sick with vertigo, the pressure (not really) was on. 

Heartache. It found its way to me again. Struggling to find the bags I had wanted and discovering the money I had saved was $100 LESS than my banking app told me, I thought, “Why bother? I’m tired of nothing working when I’m trying to bless!” Yes, God and I had another fight. Yes, he won again. :) “Child, why don't you trust me? Haven't I always pulled through?” Then I recalled raising 3k in just under a week. Raising 4k in 2 months. Having a friend who I needed (though I hate I was that weak) making it home for my mothers funeral when EVERYTHING said she shouldn't be able to. The feelings I had then, of not knowing how, but that everything would work out was there. So, I weakly forced forward. 

The goal was 30 bags, I found 13. The goal was overflowing bags, they closed just right. The goal was five people, we had seven (PRAISE THE LORD!). We walked the streets and with each person we spoke we discovered a sense of humility, selflessness, and kindness. All first said no to our offer of the bags filled with supplies, but accepted the hot chocolate and munkins’ one friend brought. As we spoke to them they understood, or so it felt, that they were blessings us more than we them and took the bag with joy. 

As we spoke to one man, I couldn't help but smile. The group that had been conjured up was an interesting one at that. One, unafraid to yell across the street to anyone, stranger or friend. Another not quite so bold but to quote, “Well, I didn't come out to do nothing!” as she turned to walk into a place we were all slightly too nervous to do. One was seemed to be a combo, if needed, of the other two. She wasn't afraid to talk to anyone, do anything, and seemed to be able to relate to anyone. The rest of us, though willing to talk and share, sat back a little and listened. The differences in gifts was amazing. I chuckled recalling how each of us have grown into each gift and fight to enhance their strength. Nothing is more amazing to me than witnessing people studying and praying on how to be more Godly and then witnessing it first hand. 

Thirteen bags is what we had to offer, twelve found a home. One gentlemen came to walk past us when we stopped him. The bag he carried was open and more importantly empty. Looking in one of our bold members made an attempt to give up the bag on her back. “No, I’m all set.” He said. Peering into the bag, with a smile on her face, “It looks like you need a refill! Here take this..” and she place one of our bags inside of his. As he received his munkins and hot chocolate he thanked us, “Its like heaven just met me in the street!” He said with a tear in his eye. We smiled wished him a Merry Christmas and started to head our way. Just as I started to move, being the last to follow, he grabbed my shoulder to spin me just slightly. Looking me in the eyes he said, “You are good people! You are good people!” INSTANTLY I felt like I was in the bible. The part where Jesus says he will show himself, show up for dinner, and is denied because he appears as a poor man, a woman etc…. but when he appears they ask why he never showed as he said. His answer being I did, three times, and you shut the door on me. I felt in a way, this man was Jesus, standing before me. I don’t mean literally. But certainly like he wasn't just any ol’ man. He was significant and placed before me by God.

This was our last encounter, bag 11 if you will. We went to dinner and I couldn't help but to think and ponder through most of it. True joy and fulfillment engaged its way throughout my heart. “This is what I want to do always. Bless people. I don't want to care about the money and the time it takes. Everyone deserves blessings and love.” The entire ride home I tried to lose myself in my vision, here and there my friend talking away in the front seat would drag me back with a comparison of losing our mothers. But for the most part I did what I could to think of the good things and not the bad. 

Unsure how, with lawyer fees rounding out at 8k-10k, I was to make Love Them legal I laid in bed praying and knowing I was right all along… this was my calling. The next morning a customer whom I have shared a lot of my dreams with came in. We spoke for awhile when he asked, “What is your goal.” My hearts answer is, “To change the world.” but I always answer more simple, knowing I’ll likely be laughed at. “Feed the homeless.” “Bring joy and education to children around the world.” “Clothe the unclothed.” but none of those seemed fit and in the moment I answered my hearts cry, “To change the world.” His answer shocked me, “mine too…. but we cannot do it as individuals. We must team up. And I want to be on your team.” This is when he offered to take on all legal fees and he and his firm would make the organization legal and final.  

So I end the year with tears in my eyes and dreams becoming reality. Knowing I havent access to the internet makes it hard for me to promise weekly or monthly updates of the things laid on my heart and where this organization is going. But what I can promise is that I’ll do my best and hope ya’all join me in this venture. In many and all ways. 

  Thank you to those who’ve held my hand, hugged my heart, answered a 3am text with “I love you, You got this.”, donated and invested time, money, and prayers to me and my dreams of changing the world. Donald was right, none of us can change the world alone. I couldn't do any of this without you. 

  Love,

Kris

Changing the world Together

   How fast our fleshly minds wander into greater plans. Whether for a better job, bigger house, newer car, better clothes or our thoughts, opinions and attitudes are better and how the world should be on the same page as you. After all, no one else has life better figured out than ourselves, right? Being from the mission field I have struggled with this concept but on a slightly larger scale.
    Anyone in missions knows money isn't something that grows on trees, though in some desperate times us missionaries can be found double checking the concept. With this harsh reality and being my mothers daughter I found myself struggling on right from wrong, was I being selfish or selfless, frugal or was my wallet dropping too much money? I naturally want to help people. But I found myself wrestling with MY calling and using money that I could use for MY ministry or donating it to others and supporting THEIR calling and THEIR ministry. Where was the line and when I cross it where am I crossing it into? I had tossed these questions up and watched them float off into a land of answers never found for over a year. Then Uganda happened. My heart ripped and shredded from my chest. Tears fell enough to have filled lake Victoria. Dreams invaded and calls were made. And I was the one to answer. To begin an organization to help children all around the world. With less than $5 in my account and no job I hadn't any idea where to start other than spread the news and my story. I needed the body of Christ in order to be the world changer I was to become. Reaching out and finding support I had come across a huge realization- I wasn't the only one with a calling. Obviously I had heard of callings and I had known people were doing missions long before I had ever heard of them. What I failed to understand was the passion behind it and the bigger picture to the change to come once their ministry was fulfilled! It had taken a month or two for this realization to really click but when it had I understood my heart was all wrong. My mentality, subconsciencly, was my ministry vs theirs and how can I show mine will impact more of the world. The moment this became apparent to me my heart sank, my stomach churned, and I felt sick. How could I even remotely compare saving  orphaned children with sex trade trafficking? Or preaching the word and writing bible studies to feeding the homeless? Or fighting abortion to pouring into a friend going through divorce?  After all doesn't one edify the other? Do I not need a preacher and bible study to help teach me of his love? Do I not need a friend pouring into me? What if they neglected that ministry? After all one cannot pour out what they do not obtain, correct?  It is cliche, but we are the body. "The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body- wether Jews or Greeks, slave or free- and we all were given the one spirit to drink. Now the body is not made up of one part but many. If the foot should say, " because I am not the hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, "because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact god has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indespensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor." - 1 Corinthians 12:12-23 With this being biblical how can one remotely argue their ministry is far greater than another when we cannot function without the other. Yes, one can have their ears removed and still function, but they are not complete. I'm reminded of a conversation I had with a friend just over a year ago. I said, "isn't it crazy how we are all part of Jesus? One body? Man, I'd be so satisfied if he called me a toe." She snapped with sincerity, "ILL TAKE THE ARMPIT!!!" Even the role of the armpit is crucial. Maybe the armpit means running through the jungle searching out tribes who've never heard of Jesus. Or it's ministering to a widow. Regardless, another part of the body is touched and transformed into greatness.
   I have found with all this my answers. We are NOT only called to OUR ministries! We are first called to love the world. To care and love them with all out hearts. If we are doing this we turn no eye on any ministry! We pick up whatever part we can and help. I am convinced after months and years of prayer, that not one single ministry will change this world. But instead all of them combined and helping one another will. There is no competition is Jesus; only love.

  So friends lets pick up our crosses lay them at his feet and find someone else to help bring theirs to him while we're at it! I call the left side, and I hope to see you on the right so that nothing drags its way.

  Together we are world changers. Apart we fight a losing battle!

Here's to changing the world as we know it!
Krista June

What if the Storm Never Ends?

    

     As I was driving home from work today I was thinking through my attitude minutes prior. I had realized it was nasty at best. Quickly the mind did what it had been trained to; think of an excuse as to why. Sadness was the first and longest standing reasoning behind the miserable person I had just been. Infuriated with myself I begged God to help me release the lies and pains that rest deep within and claim and declare the truth to who I was. Without a doubt I knew that He would answer me. That is who my Father was after all; a care giver whose favorite thing to do was forgive and love me. These thoughts swam their way through my mind just as my vision blurred enough to see the rear lights in front of me shine brightly in heart shape. You can imagine the fright that ran through me, unable to see clearly, or so I thought. Blinking a few times to clear up my contacts I realize shortly after my contacts were fine, God was simply showing me what he felt for me. I followed the car for another 10 minutes or so and the hearts never faded for more than a second at a time. I am, as you are, deeply cherished and loved.

      Shortly after arriving home I found myself, like I often do, looking at pictures from our Uganda trip. Contemplating the drive and what God had shown me the questions started flowing. "How did I know He would answer me? What if I never knew anything good of Him, forgiveness, love, willingness to talk with me? How would I handle life if I grew up with these kids?" and many more. What hit me the hardest was that I experienced a small taste of what these children endure, I could escape back home to a "better place", and the biggest of all the issues... I never had to return. In fact, I could leave whenever I pleased. I starred and starred at the broadest of all the pictures. To be honest, it was one that many times I quickly skip past not giving it a thought. A scene shot of what every day typically looked like with everyone being candid. Matt with two or three babies peeing and pooping on his lap. Whitney holding and caring for Joy. Celia holds McGuire joking and laughing with the kids. London getting his hair done. Tex sitting on the ledge, legs hanging off, with a few of the kids leaning on his back and lap. Anthony talking shop with some of the adults in charge. And each one of the kids with, doing something, or looking for a Muzungo or working as they were directed. Sadness devoured my heart. The one thing God allowed me to witness on a 15 minute drive home was something every single one of these children lacked... love. As the Freight train of sadness crashed my heart into the steal wall all I could find the words to pray were, "Father, help it to end."

      The realization that found my heart was some people, children and babies too, all around the world never can escape the storm. The storm doesn't have some cute name like "Katrina" or "Harry" its name is life. There's no rescue teams coming in or blood drives being run just for them. Or at least not enough. We don't see on our weekly football games a website for others more fortunate to donate. It’s as if they don't exist. What terrorizes my thoughts continually, night after night, is that most these people live lives as if mother nature or some other horrific event happened, when in all reality, they were born into it. As most of you know my niece was born in June 2013 and we had been taking care of a 3 month old while in Uganda. I can't help but to recall my plane ride home thoughts as I'm sharing this with you now. They ran something like this, "Joy hasn't any choice to what happens to her. She will be used and mistreated most likely all her life. She will likely never be above "lower class" in the eyes of the world. She was brought into this world in a miserable, evil, way (mother was raped by her uncle). And at least once in her life she will likely wish she were never born. All because for some reason God made her and destined her life to be Ugandan. She had no choice. As where my niece (Khloe. I didn't know her name at the time) will be born in one of the most wealthy countries on earth, will not only have a mom and dad that love her but aunts, uncles, grandparents. All of which is anyone ATTEMPTED to hurt her in ANY fashion would protect her if it meant their own death. She will have opportunities to become anything she wants. Her health won’t suffer from malnutrition, worms, or HIV (most likely). And why? Because God placed her in North America. She, like Joy, has no choice. Yet, Khloe will know love, compassion and forgiveness much sooner than Joy. She will have opportunity Joy can only dream of. I don't get it." I understand these thoughts may not be how life pans out for either of these two. But I know the odds are DRASTICALLY in Khloe's favor. My heart can’t help but to ask why? A teacher of mine, Troy Sherman, shared an alarming static while he was with us. It reads, "In the United States of America ALONE spend $480 BILLION dollars during Christmas time ONLY EACH YEAR! It would take TEN BILLION to solve WORLD hunger." World hunger could be solved with just $10 billion. Of course my heart is strong for the Ugandan people, children especially, but the WORLD. I can't help but to sit here and ask, "Why Lord? Why are so many suffering? And worse Lord, why are so few helping?"

      I don't write any of this to rise up guilt. On a general basis I hate that tactic. But I can't shake the feeling of my heart being crushed between sadness and fury. My tears flow understanding that in my lifetime I'll be a blessing if I bring just one person out of the storm. While my muscles tense and jaw clinches with determination to make it the world. After all, what makes me so special I get to feel and see Gods love in the rear light of a car while others never get to? God so loved the WORLD he gave his one and only Son...

 

With power to clear the clouds for at least one,

Krista June

The Beauty of Gods Love

      I know to which the road our father is placing me on. But sometimes that just isn't instant enough for our human flesh. I simply want to be on it now and not on the journey before which it comes. What I am realizing and understanding more now than ever though, is that its the journey before that makes the end destination as magnificent and grand as it seems to be. Without all the bumps, prayers, love and support of others, lessons in-between would any of the results seem so glorious? My guess is no. So, with that being said, here I sit on the road of growth- somewhere between knowledge, love and wisdom.
     God has been speaking to me these last few days about loving through the storm. To some this seems like an impossible task. And if I were to be honest Id reveal once upon a time that was me. But as these last weeks of 2013 enclosed I realized that the moment we allow anything negative into our hearts is the moment we lose. Yes, it may be difficult to not spit off at the tongue as your heart is crushed and dismayed but I challenge you to think of just how hurt and dismayed God was as we ate from the tree, spit and thrashed on his ONLY son, and choose STILL not to walk with him. Did that stop him from paying the price? In his hurt did he say, "never mind, child, you are not worth it?" No, he still took us on his back and carried us and allowed life to be restored in us.
     In Genesis 1:31 God tells us, "He saw what he had made (man) and it was good." Just before it reads (Gen. 1:26) "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock over the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." How remarkable is that? God claims that we ARE good! From the first of the days he claimed we were good! And we were above all other creatures for we were in the likeness of HIM! God: an adored, admired or influential person. In an another definition it reads: A superhuman being or spirit being worshipped. WE ARE MADE IN HIS IMAGE! Why is it we beat ourselves up and degrade ourselves? Are we understanding that by doing so we are diminishing the beauty of who God is?
    I know some of you reading this are saying, "Well, I am not as worthy. If only you knew my past, Kris, you wouldn't say that I was made in His image." Oh, How I express this with the deepest of love, you would be entirely wrong! I can say so very confidently because later in Genesis 3:21 after Eve and Adam ate of the forbidden fruit, while they sat embarrassed because they were unclothed; "God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them." There were consequences to Adam and Eve's actions, yes, but what loving parent do you know that when their child disobeys and does something harmful to themselves in the process not discipline out of love? Adam and Eve did the one and only thing the Lord said for them not to do. In doing so they brought death and destruction upon themselves and every person who would be born after. They released sin onto the earth... to ALL OF MAN! I'd like to ask you, who may be feeling unworthy, what have you done that has brought such repercussions onto ALL of man? I am not dismissing the hurts you may have caused or endured. I'm simply asking, if God still loved Adam and Eve enough to care for their embarrassment, why wouldn't He still love you and call you good?
     I started this post sharing I want the end result. If I had that right now, would I be able to feel his love for me today? Probably not to the degree I am. Keep trucking and know you are made in the image of God, the highest and holiest of ALL things, and you are GOOD!

    Here's to the journey before the destination!

Kris

The Final Weeks of Uganda-- How I found my calling

Hello My Dearest Friends!

   I have finally had time to sit down and try and put into words all that has happened within the last few months. A task that I assure you isn't easy! To attempt to sum up what life has been like this year is one of the hardest things I've wanted and been asked to do. So, if I'm a little scattered or unclear in any way my deepest apologies!
   First and foremost I would like to thank ALL of you! My heart has been DEEPLY touched by all your support and love! I COULD NOT have made this trip without any of you! My words are not enough of a thank you but its the most I can offer you! SO THANK YOU!!
   On April 10th in the evening we landed in Entebbe, Uganda and met with our now dear friend, Aron. Though he is a little embarrassed by it we took delight in listening to him the entire way "home". He shared with us the do's and don'ts of the country. What to expect and not to expect. And shared the best advice he could offer us. By the time we'd reached the house I had felt in good hands and that the next few months would be life changing. I hadn't ANY idea just how much so.
    The first month we stayed in Kampala. 2 weeks at our now families house, Angela and Benum. They have 3 children total, one who was away at school and two that blessed us with their presence nightly. Their son was 10 and their little girl 4. Blessed doesn't even begin to express how we were treated. They let us stay there for free and paid for and cooked our meals nightly.
     While we were here we worked a few days with Women and men who tested HIV positive. We also worked with an orphanage called God's Grace. Our goal was to love. Love on every person we encountered to our fullest compacity. Which came to be easy at each place, but especially God's Grace. We found 124 children with just 7 care takers. MANY, including babies, suffering from malnutrition and infections. The very first day I had one little girl who simply clung to me. The second I released her from my arms she would start to wale! The second day we arrived she ran to me with her friend who also would sob the second I let her go. As the newest girl cried (even as being held) I asked what was wrong, I was told "she always just cries. She needs to be quiet or leave this place." I asked if we could treat the wounds on her feet and I was ignored. Saddened by this my teammate, Tex, and I prayed over her.  This is one story of many of the neglect and heartbreak we encountered the first few weeks.
     Each teammate within those first couple weeks fell in love with one or more of those kids. Whitney and Anthony were no exception. A 2 month old baby was in this orphanages care. Whit with her nurturing heart she has went to her and rocked her. Her touch was startling to Baby Joy. "She was literally like a doll for the first hour or so" said Whit about holding Joy for the first time. Joy wasn't formular with human touch or what it meant to be cared for. As we were leaving Whit made Joy a promise to come back for her and adopt her. "The way she looked at me, it was like she understood every word. It was like she wasn't a two month old but an adult." As time went on and I spoke more with Whitney about Joy the more I too, and the team, fell in love with her. By week 3 of outreach I knew in my heart we were to go back for Joy. But I want to share more of the next 2 weeks before getting too far into Joy's story.
      Week 3 and 4 we were in Kampala as well but no longer with Angela and Benum. Instead we hooked up with our friend Jonathan to build an aquapontics. This is a garden system that treats and takes care of itself but produces veggies at an alarming rate. Here we stayed with the orphans in our own rooms. When we arrived there wasn't any electricity and they had just gotten what is equal to our running water. The friends we made there were amazing. There are 12 children that live there, who sadly cant attend school so run around and play all day. They LOVED our water bottles and were the main source of their playing. These kids are sweet and adorable and I love each of them dearly. There we also met a 15 yr old man who worked with us building the aquapontics. His name is Denis and Ive NEVER seen someone work as hard as he did! He provides for his entire family, paying all their bills and also pays his school bills, which is $40 American BUT they average about $4 for a FULL days work! So its a LOT of money!! It was crazy to witness the level of struggle that was happening here.
     The next few weeks were by far the hardest for me spiritually. We were off to Jinja (3 hrs away) for the remander of the trip. Or so we thought. As we packed and headed out the tears filled my eyes and over flowed my heart. I felt Kampala was where we were supposed to be but how could we just blow off all the plans we had in Jinja? And how do I share this with the team? I just probably don't wanna go because I fell in love with these people. Those were my thoughts. As we arrived I fought off my heartbreak. Within the next 2 days we found out that what plans we thought we had comes to find out, we didn't have at all! We literally had a month freed up! I was ready to re-pack and head to Kampala the moment Anthony gave us the news. Pitching the idea out to go back seemed perfect so there it was...pitched. After talking a little we prayed and felt as a team that 2wks in Jinja was what God had wanted from us. And the last 2 wks we'd head back to God's Grace.
     We did just that. We filled in the first week in Jinja with random ministry. One day the girls did a maternity clinic. Which is where I discovered just how TERRIFIED of the medical field I am! haha that was ROUGH! We also did street walking and visited with another orphanage that one of our speakers founded, Cesta Nest (Streams of Mercy). In the second week we had planned a kids club for the neighborhood children. On day one we had 60 children and on the last day we had 110. It was EXHAUSTING but SO rewarding!! ages 4ish-18ish.... incredible! We did dances, skits, bible stories, games, songs, testimonies, prayers etc. Truly amazing.
     The last 2 wks were the roughest since my mom passing. I have NEVER felt more emotionally drained (other than when mom died) in my entire life. We went back to the orphanage where it all started. It literally felt like we were arriving home as we pulled into Benum and Angela's. That was the refreshing part. The down side was we had a LOT of work to do with so short a time. While we visited Cesta Nest we found a new place to have Joy transferred to. The house was AMAZING she'd stay in and the people who'd be taking after her.... amazing! And apart of our goal was to have her moved there before we left. We knew it would be hard... we didn't realize how hard and why.
      During the month and half on off days and free time Whitney and Anthony had been meeting and doing all they could to get the adoption process going. We kept running into hiccups but kept being able to overcome them due to God blessing us with more people who knew more answers. But the more we dug the more we started to question things. But not once did we question this was where we were meant to be.
     Sunday came and we visited the children again for the first time. I was told by one of the kids all they had to eat was flour and water. Instantly our team decided we'd get them some rice for the week. Monday morning we brought them a big bag of rice and started to build 2 bedrooms for the boys. 30 plus boys were sleeping outside in the classroom on dirt and without misqueto nets (Malaria is HUGE over there and can be deadly if not treated in time.) We also built a laundry line to hang their clothes out on instead of laying them of the ground and a chicken coop and were sure to clean their sheets and bedrooms. Tuesday another organization brought 2 bags of rice for the kids and helped us with the projects above. Wednesday was the same. And then on Thursday we'd gotten back from lunch and one the kids came to me saying the older kids hadn't eaten. Confused as to why I had asked. They said "we ran outta food." Even more confused I went back to the kitchen and talked with the cook, who informed me that, indeed they'd "run outta food." Thinking this is impossible with all the food just delivered I went to Anthony and Tex overheard the news and went back to investigate. He found the food and then was told they were fasting. Confused as to what was happening and how the stories weren't adding up I decided to start asking questions. Im not gonna tell you how but just the info we discovered....
     What we found out was that what basically happens is the person who runs the organization goes to kids parents and convinces them she can get them adopted by western people. What she doesn't tell them is that adoption through them isn't allowed at all. Then they will have the kids, esp the babies, be real thin and sickly so that when organizations go through they feel awful and because adoption isn't allowed all they can do is donate money. Then they will pocket the money and the children see none of it. They have found that babies bring in more care and money and so they've started to target them more. Hence why we are struggling to have Joy transferred. I was also shown 3rd degree burns that were done as punishment, they are not allowed to eat when being punished (2 babies were literally one DAY away from death), they are verbally abused daily and also caned if they ate food offered to them while they were being punished. The reason we cant just shut them down is because the kids who do have parents and thought they were giving their kids a better life will be arrested for abandonment and put into jail. And we don't want innocent people suffering for doing what they thought was best. And those who don't have parents will be left homeless. So, that's why I'm trying to go back there. I had a conversation with God and he told me that I must help one kid at a time and start with the most innocent.... which here is Joy.
       This orphanage is the reason we were sent to Uganda. I have found my calling and that is the O.S.O... operation save the orphans. I plan on shutting down places like this and building new and better homes for these children. If you feel at all lead to help me in accomplishing this mission PLEASE talk to me! Whether finances or coming along and helping or just praying... however you can help PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO! These kids are the sweetest kids ever and are abused daily. I don't know how they are so wonderful! But Ive seen these things with my own eyes and I do need your help!! THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUVE DONE ALREADY!! THANK YOU! PLEASE SHARE THIS!!!

   In Love with Uganda,
Krista June

Kids club in Jinja

The week started off by planning for a kids club that Ywam Jinja puts on. Matt Harr our school leader had his pastoral visit and so it started off pretty special. Getting notes from home and special treats like white chocolate....my fav! Thanks Sahara! With no real idea what we to do we tried praying knowing we hd 3 days of about 16 hrs totl that needed planning. London got we should do a 3 day story...what better than creation/the fall Christ dying and rising and Holy Spirit? So that's what we did. Skits from the bible and a few silly ones. I never thought we'd have such good actors on our team lol. But we crushed it. Lol. Matt being here was huge making each skit a little better. We ended up with 110 kids from age 3-17. Ptl. There were 5 from a nearby orphanage that appear to be in an ugly situation so we walked them home to check it out. Everything on the outside appears ok...but there's evidence that says otherwise...all circumstantial but my spirit doesn't rest well. So prayer is welcomed for the children there. There's somewhere around 13 kids there. When we went 'mother' the house taker wasn't there 'may return tonight'. As I said somethindoesnt set right in me. I think GAde our translator will be doing ,ore follow up and research on it. Our last day Celia and I had 49 kids 7 and under.... One translator and one other man.... Mayhem is the best way to describe it. But it was good! We each had groups and did lessons with them about what the skits were that day. Gods good and it all went great.
    Tomorrow we head back to Kampala and start our work there. It's gonna be exciting! I'm stoked to finish up here strong! Keep us in prayer!!!! Love all of you!
Krista June

The Ugandan journey

Hey friends, I'm so sorry it's taken me soooooooo long to write! Life here is crazy good! I'm on my friends iPad so I must make it quick but know that I and the team are wonderful! We have been touched deeply by the people here and are overwhelmgly blessed! We've been working within orphanages and our hearts are breaking and touched DAILY. I can't begin. To describe the joy they have in them slimy by us holding them! It's crazy! Whitney and Anthony my leaders who are wedding in aug of this year are now trying to adopt a 2 mon old that we met and fell in love with. Her name is joy and prayers are appreciated! We are currently in Jinja but will be heading back to Kampala earlier than expected after some long nights and days of praying! So in gods grace, the first orphanage we visited we will be heading back for the last 2 was here! There are 124 kids 7 workers...most which are volunteer and not always there. 5-7 kids per bed if under age about 3 and 3-5 any age older. Most don't have good health due to lack of food. Maria I the min runner of the place and hs the biggest heart I've seen. It's remarkable. There are twins bout a yr or so old who were literally left in the woods to die and she rescued them. Many have stories like this..Maria coming and saving them. It's insane. Prayer there is needed and for us a well . We plan to build toilet and a shower place for them as we'll as get more room for more beds and provide food. We've been so blessed by this place! The children are amazing and gods sent under! I have sooooo many things I'd love to share with y'all but I've not the ability just yet.... Other need the comp.if you feel lead to help in anyway message me!!!!!!! You can also send money to my Paypal for this. Orphanage and it'll help with our needs. You can find that info in my notes on fb under Ywam the journey starts!!! You can send things needed too clothes etc.... I'll update you next week on how if you'd like. Thanks folks!!!! It's awesome here! We're soooooo blessed! Love krista June

Little Egypt

 Friends!!

 I glad to report life is MUCH better! I had a ROUGH start to the week this week. We were being taught how to study the bible and I realized, "WOW! I KNOW A LOT LESS THAN I THOUGHT!" not good!! I felt so STUPID that legit I was crying a few times. I had dinner with our leader and his wife (Matt and Erin and Liam of course) and they wanted to just get a chance to see how we are doing without everyone else around. Wed is was my turn. Im fairly certain Matt is a feeler so it was no coincidence. lol. It was good though. Just talking and hearing the wisdom together as a couple they pocess. Its truly amazing. In a sense they talked me off the ledge informing me of things Ive never really known about myself. I called my brother and asked him what he thought and he agreed. And so did another friend.
  I feel extremely pushed here. And most days I hate it. I think if it was like day camp thing were we could go to our own homes and process alone for a little while it wouldnt be as difficult for me. But thats not the case so Im ALWAYS under pressure. Ive not since arriving felt a second of COMPLETE lack of guards up. Its not because the people, its just who I am. When Im with people I stress. Im not totally sure as to why, but i think its mostly wanting everyone to like me or me pleasing them that freaks me out. Im still praying on this. So needless to say I feel like Im breaking because even when Im in my room alone I know at anytime Celia or one of the girls could come knocking and come on in, and I could be asked to do something I hadnt planned in my day. Which bites! lol. Im a planner and stress even more when Im all of a sudden thrown into a place or situation Id not thought Id be doing. But again, Im growing in this area.
    We're coming up on outreach FAST! We leave first couple days in April on our state side and from there we leave to Uganda. Im SOO NERVOUS about this but trying not to fret on all the things they warn us about day in and day out. I know theres gotta be some normalece. I know already Im gonna be outta my comfort zone for Ill mainly only be allowed to wear dresses and skirts. :(  So for me skirts, cause i HATE dresses. lol. But itll be ok. I expect embarrassing moments already regarding that. lol. Pray for me!!!
   We already have gotten a small taste of outreach stories this week on our evangalism quest. I dont know if I have the liberty of sharing the story for it didnt happen to me. But just know it was WOW! Brave trooper we got on this team! :)
    Last night we went into a small community of Egyptians. Its a complete culture within the states for sure! So much so they actually call it "Little Egypt". We went and played with the children as they were in the play ground. Remarkable doesnt even begin to sum it all up! I was mainly with a young, beautiful girl named Sohair. (Its not spelled this way she informed me but just so its easy for you.) She taught me many games and told me many stories. They are BEYOND loving and LOVE touch. There were little to no boundries. Im still unsure how I think and feel on that. We played soccer, trust fall, swung them around in circles, piggy back rides, basically anything you could think of that involves carrying one or two children on your back lol. Super glad to have more men around for certain! lol. They literally were trying to jump into our van and were jumping on the back of the van as we were trying to leave. They do this all the  time Jacob says. (Jacobs how we were connected with this group). I had MANY questions about my hair from both the guys and girls. The girls almost were sad for me and the guys thought it cool. lol I had it in a fohawk. lol. Probably one of my fav quotes of the night was after Matt Knapp was playing soccer with a boy on his back he needed a break. His face was bright red and he was trying to catch his breath. The boy on his back as he was sliding off goes, "Well, this games no longer fun. The camel gets too tired!" and then ran off. lol. #cultureshock lol. Once we were all exhausted from the carrying etc and we were saying no more fights started breaking out left and right. I realized pretty quickly once Celia pointed out how it was happening everywhere (she was with the boys I was with a couple little girls) that these boys are filled with pride. One would kick the other, the other would chase him down and beat him harder. Then he'd get up and chase down the other one giving him a harder beating. As we were stepping in, holding back the aggresser, the "victim" to be would taunt him angering him more. I couldnt help but to feel overwhelmed and angered. The adults or older ppl there that lived there were just letting it go on. I dont know if I was more frustrated by the 10-12 yr olds or them. My heart really started to break to a point I wanted to escape. But overall, what an amazing outreach. I loved hanging with them. I hope we can go back.
    Thats the basic update for this week. Im growing and its not easy but Im excited. I hope Ill start feeling like Im making a difference in others life sooner than before outreach. Keep me in prayer!!

Love Ya'll,
Krista June

2 wks summed in one.. All in fun

Im Sorry friends! The last few weeks have been CRAZY! We had the DTS of 32 students from the fall get home from outreach and we were booked getting to know them, serving dinner, and doing graduation things for them. So Lives been a little CRAZY!
  Within that DTS I think its safe to say Ive met some good friends. Ive never seen such joy in so many of their faces. I dont believe it was all because they were home either. In Fact, some of them I think wished that they werent. The stories and inside jokes flowed throughout the house and I cant say that they were not entertaining to listen to. For the most part, menus the cleaning up after, I thoroughly enjoyed having them here. So, that was basically last wk! :) Im trying to think of stories to share but I cant really.
     The other students made for an interesting time out of class but within it they had no affect. As usually YWAM found a Dimond in the Rough and blessed us with an amazing teacher, Wick Nease. Im mind blown. He spoke on destiny and the biggest point that he made was this, "How many lives will not make it into heaven if we dont act out the destiny in which God has called us to obtain." Yea, it struck me hard too! :) Makes you think twice before not doing something the Holy Spirit tells ya to, eh? lol But it was amazing! Im so incredibly lucky to have had him teach me! Amazing. And he acts out his talk! Doing HUGE work in the mission fields for orphans. Check out streamsofmercy.org! Him and his wife founded it! :)
   One thing that ya'll should know about me if you dont already is I dont tend to sugar coat things or make myself out to be something Im not. I feel thatd be decieving ya'll. So with that being said, this week has been rough. By the end of last... like Sat night I was basically burnt out. Tex and I were up late and I found myself saying, "Man, I just want to be ALONE! ALL ALONE I Need to BUST OUTTA HERE!!" Of course I said this in my head. But I wanted breakfast alone. Me being the only one who can drive a base vehicle I felt like breakfast before church alone would be nice. But I knew that Tex and possibly others were feeling the same way and I couldnt neglect them. So, we made plans to go out to breakfast. And barely just got there! lol It was good, Brenna from home was with us, Celia, Matt and Tex all went out before church and just enjoyed eachother. It was really nice. But if Id known thats where the fun was gonna end Id soaked it all in that much deeper.
   Im not going to share details. I dont believe its fair. But know that this week hasnt been the best, easiest, or even remotely close to not being the worse week here. A lot has happened and I even debated on not writing until next week in hopes that things would turn around and I could give you all the GLORY REMARKABLE things he did ONCE IT WAS OVER! One thing I realized is that we do that FAR too often. We pull through hard situations that noone knows we are going through all by ourselves and then once we are out of that situation share with everyone and praise god. We are called to be a body DURING hard times, not only after. We tend to only show the hunky dory days once the storms gone by. Ive done this most my life, afraid to say, "Hey I need your help." Biblically thats wrong. So friends, I need some prayer for wisdom and a softened heart.
   Johnny Buckner was our speaker this week. A teacher who is 100% lead by the spirit. Its crazy! He was such a blessing to have around! I can honestly say without him whats happening right now would be MUCH harder and MUCH more unlikely to heal or be resolved. But his love is strong and perfect so he gave us Johnny! :) Guy is amazing. I truly cherish his heart!
  With all that being said Im hoping to have all my work done tonight so that way I can just soak up time with Him tomorrow and have massive revelation on how to flip the worst week here to being the best week yet that follows. :) Say a prayer or two for me? :)

 Love ya'll!

Thanks For letting me be real!
Krista June

Opry and Art

Hey Family!


 Ok, so Im not feeling the best so this is probably gonna be short. I may add on tomorrow or later if I feel well. Im sorry, I just wanna sleep and try to kill it quickly.
   This week we had Art Collins as our speaker. An interesting man to say the least. Doesnt hold anything back, and truthfully, its one of those things that maybe he should. lol. Nah, he was good. He spoke on how to be a disciple and I can honestly say I love that he had us looking us verse after verse with him. Let me know my Bible better. :) He took a lot out of Romans, 1 John, 1 Corinth, and Matthew. Which was good because I didnt realize the depths of love that was within them for one another, not just Christ! :)
   We watched the passion one night with him. First speaker to REALLY hang out with us. Troy did a little here and there but Art took us out to Dinner lunch and every break was at our side. It was cool. BUT explains why we're ALL EXHAUSTED! Celia actually woke only for breakfast to fall back asleep... Ill be joining her shortly. :) Though I saw a lot from Art the biggest things I learned from God this week wasnt in the classroom. It was outside in my own time. I MADE oppertunities to be alone. Like walking to class or from someones house, cleaning the kitchen, I popped in my headphones and just tried speaking with him. It was EFFORT but it was good.
  God spoke to me a LOT about his DEEP love for not just US but ME. I was mind blown! For instance, can you think of ANYTHING GOD MADE, NOT man made, GOD made, that is EXACTLY the SAME in EVERY WAY!? ANYTHING? Ive been thinking on this for about a week now and have come up with nothing. Yea, cows, they're all the same right? But what about their colors? Or the snowflakes even? A Tree.... each branch extends in a different spot or curves a different way.... get the idea? Ive found nothing and what he revealed to me through this was that he has put DEEP thought into each of his creations and love into each. He hasnt just put us or anything into a machine and mass produced anything.... but hand crafted EACH thing! WOW!!!!!!!!! Pretty friggin amazing! Makes me feel special and loved, and I hope it does you as well. :)
  God also spoke to me on unity. My team had been slowly letting things get to us about one another and tearing us slowly apart. A few of us were not ok with this and had spoken and agreed we should hang out and talk a little more. That "meeting" was kinda sucky but it was nice to have because the results have been amazing!! I got to pour my heart out to a mate and well, things have changed drastically because it wasnt just my feelings but from the others as well. Im stoked to be with this crew. Last week was good but man, challenging and it took me until Monday to be able to come around and make myself realize what was up.
   This entire week Ive been crushed---- EXHAUSTED- in EVERY WAY! My body was KILLING me one day, and then, now Im feeling a cold coming on, and so my physical bodys been out of it. But as my pain was kicking my butt and just away from tears I found myself praying, NOT for the pain to fade but that THANKING him. I was mind blown by myself. lol. Seriously, Im just being honest. lol Talking to a friend I was laughing because I was reminded of how our bodies dont have to dictate how our spirits are. I found myself txting my small group leaders apologizing ahead of time that I wasnt gonna be the most energetic but that my heart would be in it. It was Valentines day that day so they had us making cards for others and giving words without knowing who they were for. It was fun and rewarding. I love how the Lord will speak to you.
   Last night, WOW!! Ive not had that much fun in my life!!! Celia was amazing to go to The opry with. So full of energy showing and leading the way for me on how to have fun. I was so stoked. Cheering even at some points. Totally NOT me! But it was REDICT FUN! Tex and Marc were there as well and just soaking it in. Im SO blessed by them. Josh Turner was a SWEETHEART! Im officially a fan. :) Ah, just mind blowing. I loved seeing all the old acts and hearing how in 1967 she was the 3rd woman to ever win a grammy. Like, really? Im in the room with that talent and that skill!? SO many of them in the hall of fame? SHOCKED!
   Before going to the show we went evanglizing, "Just being ourselves." It was great. Michael, London, Matt and myself walked around the Opry Mills Mall and spoke and joked with people. Never speaking about God but just loving them as God would. Which I think was amazing. I loved every min of it. Michael started singing Ms. Jackson by Outkast and it got in my head. So I started singing it and at one point the woman in front of us turns and says, "I AM FOR RRREEEEAAAL." lol it was amazing.
    I love life. Gods so good. And He's working in me to be who I am at home here and Im excited. In the beginning of the week it was hard. I was conforted about something I shouldnt have been (in my opinion) and I was really hurt by it. And not knowing what to do I called home and was talking to a friend about it. I was adviced to basically get up dust myself off and start again. Which is what Ive been doing since and its been wonderful. Im stupidly grateful. Which reminds me of why we truly need eachother. Ah... thank you Lord Jesus! :)

   With that Ive gotta go,
 Hope life is good ya'll!

Love, Krista June

In The Hands of the Potter

Why Hello Friends!!

   Another week has come and gone and my fav day is here!! I love saturdays! Just a time to sit back with little mandatory activities before us and do whatever our hearts desire. I feel like ppls spirits instantly release stress and become more light hearted. I normally start the day writing this but today I did some homework first and so Im feeling a little more educated lol.

  This week we had Brooke Gehman speak to us about The Father heart of God... aka the heart of the Ultimate Potter. Brooke himself is a potter so brought in his wheel and told the story of clay and the potter. How the potter knows everything and the clay is trying so hard to be anything but who the potter wants him to be. On day three we were taught more about eagles and how we're so much like them in the hands of God. Pushed outta the nest, only to be caught many many times by the mother (God) and brought back to the nest, to only be pushed out again and again... forcing the baby bird to learn how to fly and grow. Truly amazing. The last few days it was more on becoming yourself in God. And asking questions like does God ever actually take away someones free will, ever. My answer to this question is still in the air. But as Brooke said, God is just very powerful with persuashion. :) I thought of Jonah through this question, first thinking right away, "NO He never does." but then God planted the story of Jonah in my head and I couldnt resist bringing it to question. But it never said he made the fish swollow Jonah but simply provided one or had one near by. I encourage everyone to read the book of Jonah, it took me 20 mins and Im one of the slowest readers on earth, but was BLOWN away by it. Gods good. On Friday we did a very good thing about forgiveness and having grace towards ppl who may not have even asked for it. Im still struggling with this a little but understanding more and more about grace with each passing day.
  With this same topic in mind we are reading a book "whats so amazing about grace", and I can honestly say Im being mind blown. Its truly a blessing to read and have a program focussing so much time on trying to better you within your faith. Im blessed.
   There's more freedom coming about the air. and i love every aspect of it! Im grateful to have the oppertunity to grow and stretch the wings the lords given me. Im missing Bubs a great deal but am totally blessed by friends at home that are constantly staying in touch with me. Even letting me still part take in their lives the best I can. Im unsure why they're blessing me as they are, but BOY AM I THANKFUL!
   We just learned a few mins ago that we are gonna go to the Opry this upcoming friday to see Josh Turner. Im kinda excited. Idk his music that well, but Im really wanting to go just for the experience. I figure theyll be a LOT of other extreme things Ill have to do and may not enjoy, why not take the oppertunity to not do something so scary but yet a once in a life time thing happen! Im so stoked. Gods just remarkable!

 Im super excited to run free for a few hrs in Nashville and then boom hit up the greatest place on earth... the opry. Im excited to share that with ya'll!

 Keep us in prayer guys! We NEED IT! Please keep the finances up in prayer... itll be a load of money we need! If you feel lead to give please please please hit me up for details! Its pretty much all on my FB page some place and Id LOVE to give it to you!! Much love and THANKS! Krista June

Life in a Fort

Friends,

   Wow! What a time to start writing! After a night like last night I dont even know where to begin. My excitement in the night is far more than anything else in the week. However, I dont wanna rob you of a great week.
   This week we had Troy Sherman speaking. I shared before that we had Dean Sherman's lessons and they were amazing, well, Troy is his son, and so like Father like son, he's teachings were also pretty amazing. I had been sick on Sunday and Monday so had to miss the first day but listened on audio. Right away I knew I was gonna be challenged. But with a great way. Challenged to walk more like a CHRIST-ian and NOT a SALVATION-ian. <- a line he used a lot. Meaning, we are NOT called to save people but instead be LIKE CHRIST! And through that ppl will become saved because of being like him, just as he did. The truth behind these comments has already played a role with me and Im blown away. To be walking in your own skin with Christ there in you, and only walking as he desires is crazy.
    Troy also spoke a lot about being the answer to your own prayer. Meaning dont sit there and beg and pray for change that you can make. He shared this story where a woman had been hearing the voice of God for the first time after seeing many miracles, and God told her to go heal this man. So she went over and prayed over him and NOTHING happened. She was bummed and down and went to him. So he asked, "How much money you have on you?" she replied, "$50" At which point Troy said, "Ok, if you go to that store up a little ways you can buy the medicine thatll heal that man for $1. Tomorrow go and bring the man the medicine and he'll be healed." She would be the answer to her own prayer. He spoke a LOT about this kinda thing and it was mind blowing.
    With that I now challenge myself and also YOU, can YOU be the answer and change to your own prayers? Also, he shared in the USA alone we spent 450BILLION dollars on christmas this year. It would take 10 billion to make sure every mouth was fed in the WORLD! Again, I challenge you, can you make a difference? He shared that in India over 1/3 the crops of rice are eaten by rats but they wont kill the rat because its a God. 1/3 could feed every starving mouth in that country. I again ask, can we do something? You may be thinking, "How its their country and I cant travel there and stop it?" Well, let me say this, theres a LOT of truth to the 6 degree rule. (For you who dont know that means that in every 6th person you can connect that person to someone else you know or have encountered). So, if you act as a CHRIST-ian 24/7 EVERY person you run into sees it and sees the TRUTH for what it is. Are you telling me that eventually people in India wouldnt be touched by the TRUTH of Christ, esp if you're praying for them? We are the change guys. We are what makes the world either more like Christ or not. Its up to you.
   This week has been a break through. Ive been struggling with being 100% myself regardless whats happening. This week basically thats been torched. lol PTL! It was like once I was over being sick I was myself. Weird, did God literally take it all outta me when he took at my energy? I truly feel so. Theres still a few things I need to work on but Im getting better and LOVING it MORE! Hows that real IDK but I am! On Thursday I had a great talk out in the open with the two leaders and said exactly why certain things had upset me and let them know a little more about how I function and how to avoid getting the stubborn forget you attitude. lol. It went really well because I feel I understand them a little more and that what I thought they were wanting from me wasnt right. I shared how I felt about sharing my testimony on one of the first days and that it made me guarded because I was being forced to share something not for the reasons God wants us to.
     (Pam here's the things Gods revealed to me. Sorry it took so long.) 
   In the beginning of December I was asked to share my testimony at church. I was COMPLETELY willing. I wanted to in fact. I had 2 wks to pray on it and figure out what I was going to say. As I was praying the Lord told me, "You are not to share your testimony. You are to give words to people." I sat there and was like, "well, ok Lord, but how are they to know me then? Im sharing to raise money for this trip." He then told me 2 things the first kinda blew me for a bit, "Child, know you? To know YOU is why you tell your testimony? No, child, you've been misunderstanding, your testimony is MY TESTIMONY! Its why I am the truth and the LIFE! NOT about you child." And the second thing he said was, "I will let them know you. You are to play a song." (after I prayed harder and for days he revealed which song, which was one of my own and shared my heart.) I had struggled with this, both of them actually. But everytime I went through what I thought maybe I should share of my testimony (because yes I was planning on disobeying) he told me, "What are you doing?! this is wrong." And I felt VERY CONVICTED! I was very much upset by this and untrusting. But while practicing with Danielle for the song we had talked a few times about obeying God and wanting to be in his will. Which basically confirmed to me that I shouldnt do it and I should listen. (Thanks D.) After that day in church I felt like I shouldnt just being sharing my testimony for people to know me but to make sure that people are hearing the glory of God through it each and every time I do share it.
    I am NOT saying that it is wrong to share testimonies. Im saying I feel, for myself, very convicted that testimonies are meant to bring Glory to the Lord and NEVER so that people just know your history and life. I feel when its done that way 90% of the time Satan is getting much more glory than Jesus, and who wants that? Not I. So I wont share it just so people know me. I realize there are times I may hafta a little bit but I will never go any further than what the Lord tells me.
   Friday night we went to the nursing home here in Adams. Its legit 3 mins away. We played music and sang TONS of hymns. That was really humbling. (Whitney if you read this Im sorry if I get the story way wrong. I only heard what Im attempting to share.) So Whitney was asked by a resident to go down to their bedroom with her. Whitney was kinda hestitate because the resident said she wasnt following the rules. But Whitney felt lead to go so she did. The woman pulls out 25 CENTS  in PENNIES and hands them to Whit and says, "I wanna help you (I THINK in regards to raising money) out and Gods been SO good to me and Ive been saving in order to bless someone, and I wanna bless you." 25 CENTS people! This woman was of her right mind. She wanted to do everything she could to bless others, yes its not a lot but it was EVERYTHING she had!! I wont expand anymore, but I will ask you all to take a min and meditate on that and ask the Lord to give you revalation on that. Cause I was rocked in a HARD WAY!!!!!!! Thank you Jesus!!
   In the night we went over to our leaders house and played Wii and with their son, Liam. I love that boy. I was EXTREMELY EXHAUSTED , HUNGRYAND FREEZING so when we left my intentions were to shower and go straight to bed. BUT, as always in DTS, nothing goes as planned. lol After my shower I chose to get some food, while I was doing that a classmate started talking to me so I say with him and another mate, at which point we got into a great convo. I love my bros. :) The others had finished their movie and honestly I thought we'd only been talking 20 mins but we'd been talking 2.5 hrs instead. lol...love talks like that. Well, Sam squared has what we call a bro-mance. lol and they were having it. Suddenly before we knew it there was 2 mattresses in the lounge and Sams are snuggling. lol yes folks, this is truth. lol Well, like the natural encourager I am I thought Matt should get in on this... so we had all three the boys like this... Matress, Sam then on top... matress Sam.... on top matress Matt... and then pics of course. lol. After it fell over this tower of bros. I suddenly was like "DUDES WE SHOULD MAKE A FORT!!!" and of course.... boys being boys and Celia and I being us... GOT INTO IT FAST!!! in a matter of seconds 7 matresses were in the lounge and the fort building began. After which we hung out inside the fort played truth or lie. Basically the group finds a question they wanna ask one person. that one person gets to answer either honestly or as a lie. then the group each gets to ask a question and after decide if it was true or not. and then the person says if they told the truth or not. It was SO FUN! We got busted at about 12:30--bedtime is midnight. But the leaders thought it was great and joined in for 20 mins or so and then made us go to bed. :) It was SO much fun! ive not had that much fun in the LONGEST TIME!
  I thank God for these siblings. I love them. We have so much fun and are always just enjoying life. But yet we can be serious and enjoy one anothers serious moments too. Im blessed!

I love you guys!
Krista June