Wow, another wonderful day with the Lord and his beautiful daughters. I cant say I know what its like to be a man. But I can say that I highly doubt they enjoy the small things like this woman does! :) I thoroughly enjoy being with Gods daughters. Im blessed everytime. Im not saying I dont love you Brothers, I do, 100%, but theres something about not having to have your guard up (For Godly reasons) that make it sweet. Im sure you fellas feel the same way about hanging with the Dudes. Just saying. :)
Anyway, Kathleen had msged me on FB on Sunday about heading out do street walking. She had said that she was talking to a friend about witnessing and I came to mind. Which is totally an answer to prayer bc Id asked God to let ppl know that I love street walking. So I agreed and said Id love to. I knew during the day I was headed to Danielle's to practice a song that we'll hopefully be playing on sunday. So that itd have to be the evening.
Im convinced God is always using every min of every day to teach us for the next. I say this bc as I walked into Danielle's house fear had me nearly paralyzed. "What are you doing here! Turn around, tell her you got lost, anything." (I want to note that I drive by her house nearly once a wk, though I didnt know exactly where it was I knew its where abouts within 100ft... so "lost" was a BAD lie. lol) I knock on the door and again ask the lord, "Really?! Can we just drink coffee and talk? I dont wanna do this!" We talk a little bit and then get to business. I tune my guitar and now the dreaded start has to be. As I told Danielle, the level of talent I have in vocal range is just above a dying baby bird, aka I SUCK! I finish the song and hope she retained it all. I know its VERY unlikely, but Gods done bigger things so why not? She informs me, nope, lets go again. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" was my exact thought. Before I start the second time I remind myself to not make it a big deal. If I just do it like shes not there than itll sound better than if I try and make it better. "Youve already told her you suck. You already are humble about it. Shes not expecting anything good. Just get it out."..... ...... now we're on the 3rd time and I find Im not fearing anymore. What? Hows that Lord? "Child, Im here. its fine." Thats when I realized I wasnt afraid and though I sucked I just had to go for it. And thats what God wants, even if its not played... he always wants us to just Go For it. Trust him.
I shared that to share this. I hadnt realized what it felt like to be afraid and still do something before this song. I mean yea, Ive done things, but not COMPLETELY when in fear. So when Kat txted me and said yea lets meet up at 6 to do the street walking I was totally for it. After all this was WAY more in my comfort zone than the singing. And I felt like he was allowing me back within my box, not knowing that he really wasnt. lol.
We got to Fitchberg and I find fear coming back into me. My mom was VERY scared of fitchberg. She preached to me all the time about not going there. Never alone. Always with a man. She was terrified of it. And so naturally Ive had a little fear whenever there. And here Kat and I are ready and willing to walk the streets, wherever they lead... (shes spinning in her grave at this point.) We walk the man rd for a bit, speak friendly to one woman, but Im just not good at keeping a convo up to bring Jesus into it. And so we bid fair well. Kat and I keep talking and I felt like we should walk down this rd that was darker. I told her that and that it looked dark and kinda scary. She agreed. Thats when I felt the fear.. and God. I said, "Lord, I wanna but, I dont feel its safe." he said, "Trust me. Ill keep you safe. I promise." Im still not sure and kinda hoping Kat says, "Nah, my spirits not right with it." But she doesnt. I hear again, "Trust me. If I kept Daniel safe I will you. dont fret. I WILL keep you safe." I told him with the most sincere heart, "Lord, I want to. Move my feet." I heard, "Be as fearless as you were earlier, with Danielle." And suddenly we were walking down the now darker street and heard, "This was a test. You wont find anyone on this street. But you will find where youre meant to go." So Kat and I kept walking and talking. We then start going down another road to an ATM and right before I saw it I had a quick vision of like toll booth like set up n the person either in the car or booth needing prayer and to be spoken to. I tell Kat this and ask if she knows what it means. She says, "well if this car comes around to the atm I do." And sure enough the car pulls around to it. Looking like stalkers and possibly theives the car doesnt roll down the windows and watches us. We stand and pray. "Intercession is really good too" Says Kat. #agreed. Knowing we're scaring the car we keep walking.
Finding few people but buildings to pray over. Both old folks homes. Which speaks volumes because on the way down Kat had been saying she feels kinda lead to the elderly. So awesome.
At the second home we were outside and it was like a short street almost. Straight and just yea, Idk, perfect. And as Kat was praying I didnt see, but FELT, there were angels literally all lined up and down the street standing together. It was AWESOME! Unexplainable. But awesome! I felt God say, "Theyre in my care." which was great. I know without doubt he was in that place. And was gonna answer our prayers. PTL!
Im finding that the Lord is teaching me that sometimes our EFFORTS alone pls him. Not the results or the numbers of conversions, just that we are willing and WANTING to go out for him is pleasing. I learned a lot about trusting and breaking the bonds of fear today. Im so lucky! He gave me great fellowship and MANY laughs!
Thank you Danielle and Kathleen for being there for God to use you in my life! So BLESSED!
Love,
Kris
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