Yet again God lets me believe I am out to do good and teach but has plans to keep steady in teaching me. Im beginning to ask myself, even on the streets, "Krista June, when will you get it?"
This sat we went out with the intentions of passing out filled backpacks to ppl in need. What I quickly discovered is that sometimes, more times then Id like, Im called to lead. That was the first new thing he'd spoken to me. God kept reminding me as I walked that he is with me and that Im to speak up, even when uncomfortable, and that I need to lead. Not entirely a fan of this, not in the least. But its a good thing to know I suppose.
What I hadnt really been able to find words to is that the mission starts before we walk. Every mission should start with individual prayer. Followed by group, and then the walk. This seems to be like, "well, der, Krista. Thats obvious." But when he spoke this to me I heard him say, "You seek me so despertly while on the streets. You want me to answer you so badly. But while youre in your home, do you speak to me on these peoples behalves? Are they just as real to you there as they are now?" My heart wasnt happy to hear these things, because yes, I do think about these people. And yes, I do pray for them. But what he was trying to tell me was that even those I've not met and encountered, they too need prayer. Ya see, because Im GREAT at praying for those Ive met and come to know. But those Ive not... I tend to see as fictional characters in a book. Which, we clearly know isnt good. So, that was the big lesson I learned.
I also learned that when God tells you to do something. Do it. Even though it doesnt make sense. Just trust. God told me a couple weeks ago to start getting into spanish again. So throughout the last wk or so Ive been racking my brain and trying to remember all I could. Honestly, I didnt do too well. And I shouldve, as he told me to, put time into it more deeply. We ran into a man who barely spoke english. And I could tell he was spanish speaking. Out of no where as Charlie was about to say bye I jumped in with spanish. I dont recall what I said. But it wasnt anything fluent! lol. I found myself quickly racking my brain trying my best to communicate with him. I knew enough, words I couldnt remember throughout the week like, "Corazon" and "Sabes". It was like God was coming into my brain and arranging the language I once kinda knew somethings to. It was crazy. The man went off as if I was fluent and though I didnt understand all the words I knew what he was saying. I wanted to keep talking but we were in a slight hurry and Im not sure Id know enough to have continued on much further. But we gave him a full bag and he was excited. He said he was going to share with some ppl he worked with. Which was awesome. What makes this amazing to me is that Id recalled the language some, just on the spot, under pressure (I DONT think well under pressure) and whats more amazing to me is that I JUMPED in WILLINGLY in the language. lol... Ive NEVER done that unless absolutely needed.
I guess the real conclusion of this was that God knows not just the day we're in but the future as well. The wks ahead. So do whatever he says and trust youll need it.
After we all met up again and I found myself walking with my friend, Tiffany. I was laughing pretty hard and couldnt stop myself. She wasnt doing a thing but standing there and walking. But as her tiny little self was all bundled and equipped for the cold I couldnt stop laughing. She, in typical Tiff fashion, started laughing with me. Trusting that it wasnt anything bad I was laughing at. She kept asking what? But I couldnt answer her. I didnt know why exactly I was laughing. As we were walking it came to me, and I realized it wasnt really that funny, just happy. What I realized was that words Id searched for a long time hit me in spirit. She has a heart that is super large. Always giving and wanting to be a care taker. As I thought of the mission I realized there wasnt anyone better for it. Her husband, Adam, is also the same way. But in an entirely different form (or so it seems). He's more of the "I dont wanna be left out! LETS GO!" kinda man. And Tiff is more "Let me stay behind the scenes" kinda woman. Both remarkable. And what God was telling me was that, the laughing and joy I felt standing there was what the ppl we speak to (then and in the future) feel. My body felt a little uneasy at first, frightened that I didnt give that feeling to others, that only the ppl I walked with let the spirit flow so amazingly. But as we crossed the street and I waved and thanked the van for letting us cross Tiff made a joke to which I replied to sincerely, and as the words left my mouth I concluded to the fact that I too had that joy shine out of me. What I said was, "A lot of ppl dont like me. Im ok with that. For the ppl who dont usually like me dont bc of Christ. And if thats the case ok. bc eventually he'll shine through and change them." At which point a gentlemen whom Id just met turned to me and said, "I can fist pump that." And put out his hand.
I swear God just, everytime, teaches me more about him and myself than I get to to the ppl. It upsets me in some ways because I want to blow your minds with what he's done with his ppl. Adam Haavisto has an amazing story. I encourage you speak with him about Eric (I think was his name.) Gods SO GOOD!
I feel Gods telling me to just write without thinking for a moment so Im gonna...
"I am the Lord of all. I care for all. I dont abandon and I dont foresake. Yes, you. The ones eyes who reads this. Im not leaving you. I love you. Carry your words carefully for they have great meaning and intense outcomes. Change your heart and you change your life. Walk with me and dont be decieved. You are cherished. Held and breathed for. Carry on and dream, but dream in me. For I am the dreamcatcher and maker. Krista, child, you are done."
Whoa, Ok, so I literally just wrote that, didnt reword or change any of it. So I think its meant for some eyes, or myself later in life. lol. Im not even entirely sure what I wrote or if it flows. Ill reread once I publish.
Thanks guys! Love ya,
Kris
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