Quick Update on Love them

Love Them is officially in the process of becoming a legally recognized Non-Profit organization in the state of New Hampshire. Crazy, huh? I’m still in shock and thrilled! My first meeting with the lawyers happened at the start of this week. It was INCREDIBLY nerve racking! Having two pair of lawyer eyes starring emotionless at you as you sit between them sharing your biggest of life’s dream. But I left the meeting with high hopes and more importantly, two dedicated lawyers. 

It overall went WONDERFULLY! I received answers I had been questioning since before leaving from Uganda back in 2013. There are some things that I cannot go into detail with yet. Not because of some big secretive law reasons but simply because I have to make some big decisions and I haven't the answers to how or what I’m going to do. I will update all I can when the information is 100% decided and final, though. 

I did, however, want to inform you where I am going this year. My lawyers didn’t have a time on when everything would be finalized, but knowing the process is going forth for sure I am planning ahead. I will need to do as much fundraising as I possibly can. As in any business or organization the starting years are rough. Yes, I save a certain amount weekly, no matter what for the ministry alone, but I know realistically Love Them cannot run off that alone. 

So, in Feb. (end) Jonathan Mancha, Mickala Meany, Jessica Blais and possibly some others have agreed to perform a worship night in order to help with some of these costs. It will be donation only and I HOPE to be able to have any checks made out to Love Them to be tax deductible. But that will be announced later. This is going to be such a FUN night!! Jonathan has done this for me before and he and whomever he plays with always always always makes it a good time! Truly each of these guys know how to bring it!! In EVERY WAY! Musically, comedy, with Jesus… truly uplifting, joyful people whom I am so incredibly blessed to call friends!! So, please COME check that out!! Location will be determined so be sure to be on the look out!!

I also would like to start an annual 5k run in April. This year I will be looking into starting it in New Ipswich. In May I’m hoping to do a home run contest. In June a 3-on-3 volleyball tournament. July or August my fingers are crossed for another concert night. Around October a bake sale… I’m pondering some “special” ideas for this to make it unique but cannot share those yet. And in November or December I’m researching a bowling team tournament. 

Also happening during the summer I am planning another backpack walk through Keene. Love Them will keep this as a part of the ministry. The goal is to go to the streets of the same city twice a year, once in the Summer and once in the Winter. After we go there twice (back to back) consider another city. I am also tentivaily planning a trip to Uganda in the winter, for about ten days. 

As you can see, a BUSY year ahead! All these ideas are just that… ideas. BUT I’m already looking into each of them and digging deeper to make them better and more outrageously fun! If you have any ideas or suggestions… please send me texts or message me on Facebook. I have started Instagram under handle Love_Them_Ministries and only post pictures of what is happening for the organization! 

My lawyers said in a few days (this was Monday) that I should receive some paperwork via email that I’ll need to sign and write a check for as well. So, any day I should have a little more information in regards to where the ENTIRE process stands. BUT, it IS moving forward!! If you want to donate and not care about tax deductible you CAN write a check to Krista Creighton and I will be sure it goes to helping change the world.

  I will try and give a more detailed update very soon. But check out Love Them Ministries Facebook page and also on instagram.

 Thank you EVERYONE!!

Love, Krista June

Why?

My first time walking the streets was in the winter of 2011. At first the idea seem ludicrous, but with a large group of friends going out to speak to the homeless and needy I figured why not? I wanna help people too! Heart pounding with nothing but nerves I had to quiet it somehow. It didn't take long before I realized just how powerful of an impact this sort of action could, would and should have on everyone involved. 

Everyone has a story. Some are filled with bravery. Some are silliness. Sadness, joy, love, let downs, brokeness, courage and a million other things are found amongst these stories. This isn't a new discovery to me, and it wasn't back in 2011 either. But what struck me with more force was the understanding that through all the down, miserable, horrific pasts that were presented to me, then and today, I had no answer to one question they would ask us time after time, “Why?” Why would a loving father, lord, allow such terrible hurts and situations to occur to such innocent, harmless, people? To this day I never try and answer this question. I have simply felt, “I have no answer. They are just in their fury. Their hurt is real. I understand why they wouldn't want to believe in God.”

I have listened to many histories and some are absolutely unimaginable. I have heard of deaths of entire families except the man before me. I’ve listened to stories of a father molesting his daughters, mothers having her children play Russian roulette with each other while herself and friends watch and laugh as if it were a game. I witnessed the excitement of finding out a baby was expected into the world to weeks later discovering the most precious thing in life actually lost its life. I have seen and heard stories of parents losing their babies for no known reasons. I, myself, have lost my mother to cancer and seen other diseases destroy and kill. I’ve heard of car accidents and drugs taking only children. Fathers beating mothers to death in front of their children. And, believe it or not, many other horrific events that have transformed lives. So, when I’m asked, “If God is real and loving, why would he allow these things to happen?” I am speechless. 

For many of you who know me, know that speechless isn't something A. that happens much and B. I am okay with. I like answers. Now four years into being a missionary and starting my own ministry were “street walking” will be a focus, I have found the hole in my heart for not knowing the answer to this question too large and too large to be “content” with. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a question I’ve never stopped searching out. But now, I am determined to find the answer. So, as I normally do in these situations, I started praying harder and harder and harder. (For those of you who don't know, I am a prayer warrior if nothing else. And I USUALLY hear God VERY clear and strongly.) I have been praying a lot about this answer for months now, for someone dear to me asked me over the summer this very question and I had no real answer for her. She, was one who told me of a couple of the incidences above. And since that day I’ve wanted to answer her and anyone else who ever asks me it. Another horrific situation that came to my attention yesterday had me especially praying out. “LORD!! ANSWER ME! HOW DO YOU EXPECT PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD SUCH HORRIBLE THINGS HAPPEN IN THEIR LIFE BELIEVE IN YOU!!! I KNOW YOU’RE NOT A GENIE AND YOU DON’T JUST GRANT WISHES, BUT I MEAN, COME ON!!! YOU COULDN’T HAVE SPARED THIS PAIN, THIS TIME?! I KNOW YOU COULD HAVE BUT TELL ME WHY YOU DIDN’T SO I CAN EXPLAIN!!” I sat in silence. Nothing. Frustrated and hurt I texted a friend I was just that. Then I went back to praying. (Quick disclaimer, I yell at God a lot. lol. Not in a fighting tone. In a desperation to know him tone. A pleading tone… a loud loud loud pleading tone. I trust he does nothing without love and that I will likely not get my way the way I want. lol. I do not ask for things to be MY way but that I understand HIS.) “FATHER? HELLO?! YOU THERE?” (I often do this until I feel his presence strongly.) “THEEEERE WE GO! OK, YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHY! HOW DO I EXPLAIN TO A HURT, ANGRY RESENTFUL HEART!?! YOU MADE ME SO I NEED DETAILED, NO SUGAR COATED BULL, ANSWERS TO FEEL I’VE GOT IT RIGHT, SO, HERE I AM… GIVE ME DIRECT!!” Nothing. To save time… this went on for about 15 hours. I’m about to give up as I wonder into my room for the night, “Lord?” I said, deflated from any kind of fight. “I just don’t get it. One day you’ll throw me a bone. Until then, I’ll stay silent when I hear their hearts breaking and crying. You know why… I don't need to. Peace.” And as I said, “peace.” I heard, “Child, trust me. Trust me. Trust me.” I wanted to speak a moment, ok, I wanted to interrupt. But I heard, “Child, still. Trust. Can you trust me, please?” I wanted to ask what that meant but felt it on my heart to not converse, to just hear. So I did.

The conclusion was simple but had me thinking further in-depth. How often do we want an answer and never hear? How often do we demand He reveals His end plan? Basically, how often do we feel “entitled”? A friend reminded me it isn’t us who actually makes the change in any persons life. It isn't what we do or not. The power is not in our hands whether or not the non-believer starts to believe. We literally haven’t any control over anything other than if God tells us to act, act. He says to speak, we speak. The rest lies in our trust in him. The cold harsh, truth is horrible things happen and we will never understand why. Also, we often feel, as believers that what we are doing isn't changing anything. Isn’t making any impact on anything. In reality we don’t always see the works that are happening WITHIN ones heart and soul. Sometimes it appears nothing is being stitched back together, no healing, no restoration is happening, but in reality the other person is sitting in awe and taking in all the truth spoken. Allowing the sewing that’s been needed for such a long time to occur. 

I would be lying if I said this answer settles well with me. It doesn’t. I want to be able to tell my friend, who asked, an EXACT scientific reason to why these horrible things happen. I want to, with my answer, change her faith. But with my faith I know my God and I know in time she and all the others will see the truth of His heart and love. The pain of the pasts haven't a set in stone truth for life. It can be healed and understood. When bearing through the storm, trusting is the only thing we can do. And when we seem side-lined, listening with an open heart.

Healing Rain is Coming Down,

Kris

A Dream & Healing

We were 18 again but with the experiences of today. The tassel rested to the left of my face and the speeches began. Searching the crowd I saw everyone, everyone but the valedictorian. The trip she would have had to travel was far and my heart felt sadden for no one else seemed to notice her absence. Out changing the world, making an impact on the children, sacrificing everything “comfortable” simply to improve a life. Yet, no one noticed but me. How was this real? The smartest in the class, doing the most important thing any of us were doing, and yet, nothing. 

I woke, asking God what this meant but before I could get an answer I was back in the gymnasium. Maybe round two would be different. Again I searched the crowd. Even the undergrads were the same to real life. People I’ve not seen or heard from in ten years were there. Still no valedictorian. As I approached the stage I felt the urge to not let her go unnoticed. But I was just a class clown with not a real thought or concern. I walked through the halls years prior with a phony smile and boisterous personality, now I had something “serious” to talk about? I couldn't fathom they'd react with anything less than a laugh in the face. At this time I tried to do what I normally can, control the dream and make the valedictorian appear. No luck. Not even a sibling or parent.

Yet again I found myself rolling over asking God if he was trying to speak to me. Again before I could hear anything I was back  to 18. The songs and speeches began again, the laughter and joy were heard through screams and excitement. I stood in the corner on the top of the bleachers, trying to not provoke any small talk but blend in. I was reminded of the speech that was given in one of the “Twilight” movies. In which she speaks on not knowing what the future holds but it was a time to learn. I couldn't help but to feel this was relevant, maybe not everyone but to me it was speaking. 

For the third time I woke and this time I was determined to understand the message. It felt like I woke too early before and God sprinkled some sleeping dust over me to continue speaking. This time I heard his message, “What we know today cannot change the past. What we had then won't always be. And what we hope will one day be again can be restored.”

I won’t go into great detail, but as I tried to continue to share why this dream was important I realized without you knowing this little detail none of it would make sense. The valedictorian of my class and I became good friends after high school. Throughout the years I did and said some regrettable things which tore us apart. To this day it is my only regret in life. I will note, I never meant to cause any of the damage.

“We’re not broken; just bent. And we can learn to love again.”-Pink. This lyric, from the first time I heard it, has wrecked my heart. Love is a choice. Forgiveness is the same. Sometimes both need to occur for peace to reign, but with the choice made to work hard and commit to resolving the hole in ones heart it can become a reality. Many times I am in fact responsible for 85% of the hurt but there is a 15% gap that I, myself, am responsible for loving and forgiving through. Sometimes, I’ve found, within that 15% there is room to love and forgive myself and not only the other party. Sometimes we need to learn that forgiving ourselves is the only way we can truly move forward. The only way we can truly mend a broken relationship and or heart. Not always is it the only way but it is a small portion.

I sit in years of regret, tears, heartache and turmoil. The situation with the valedictorian reminds me often of how imperfect of a human I am. The heartache and broken trust that resides within their heart crushes me on a daily basis, knowing I am responsible for it. I have prayed daily for restoration and forgiveness to be provided upon me. I have wished with all my strength; as though I was in a Disney movie and with enough hope a magical miracle would happen. I have often thought, “If I could only go back and change it, oh how great I would make it all.” But what I have wrestled with the most is that I cannot change anything. Thats probably because of the control issues I have, but that doesn't change the facts. I think God is trying to teach me is, no we cannot change the past because what we know isn't good. And what we had may not remain forever. But the errors, hurts, sorrow we may have caused doesn't necessary mean things cannot be restored and made new again.

I sit here praying daily for the restoration. I know, as it should, it will take a lot of time and proof that things would be different if everything were restored. I know I cannot talk my way back or convince anyone. Only in time and God can anything become new. Does that mean that my heart will not be torn daily until that time comes? No. It will. But the hope that I have fills in that hole of hurt a little more each day. I believe this comes through the ability to forgive myself and trust that the Lord will make old and broken things new and rebuilt. 

I share this dream not to share of my mistakes but because I believe someone reading this needs to hear that no matter how big you’ve messed up healing can come. My biggest fear is one of us will find death before complete healing but my hope and faith keeps me believing baby steps are being made. And even if inching our way year after year closer, one day the finish line will be crossed and beauty from ashes will be shown. I think many of us have a situation… regret like I speak of. I know Hollywood will often make it a love story regret. But whether a “I should’ve gone for it” or “I shouldn't have done that” I believe fully God can wash all things clean. So, loved ones, I ask you not to lose hope. Do not wish to go back and change it, for you learned and grew immensely through it. And though you do not currently have what you may have, do not believe this is set in any kind of stone. Time. Patience. Unconditional love and forgiveness… let those sink deep into your heart. I can promise you will see His mercy and tender heart and you will flourish in rebuilding what was once wrecked.

In Hopes to all Broken things are Restored,

Krista June