God's been revealing some major things in my life. The biggest thing as of late is how testimonies never fall short of reaching others. You're probably saying, "Well der, Krista, clearly." And I'd agree, that isn't the news revealed to me. I guess what I'm finding is that it runs deeper. There's accepting Christ into your heart and then there's living for him. Obviously the first step is HUGE but I feel like everyone thinks the second part comes by the first. And I dont think that's truly the case. I believe (with the help of Joyce Meyer's Battlefield of the Mind) that there's a point after we recieve Christ that we surrender.
See accepting Christ is accepting that there's someone bigger and grander than ourselves. And we WANT to surrender. But I really haven't seen in anyone's life were they were able to accept and then BOOM dive into living out their lives for him. I think its a process that eventually we all reach because we long for it, but its never or seldomly in one act. To maybe explain better what I mean I'll share some from my own life and maybe that'll help to clear things up.
At age 18 I became a Christian. I had a new fire that wanted to burn for Christ. But truth being told I didnt know what that looked like. I needed to know more of the bible and more about Jesus. I think this is the learning stages. We dig into him more and more. But here's what I've found... and was certainly true for myself, we get overwhelmed with all this knowledge (I forgot I had a lifetime to get it all lol) and instantly i was striving to be perfect. While on the other hand we (I) sometimes feel (felt) that just accepting him is enough. And I'm not saying that its not enough. Im not making rules here. NO NO! I hate rules. That's when faith turns to religion. And I HATE RELIGION! I guess what Im saying is that Jesus pursued me til I was 18, and then he got me. From 18 to the end of my 25th yr I was floating. I had the heart of God in many ways. I tried my best not to sin and I lived according to my morals. At no point and time during these years was I not Christian. I didnt always make the right choices or seek him first but if I had died I was going to heaven.
But in April of 2012 (the end of my 25th yr) I had a heart to heart with a friend of mine. It was a talk about dating non-christian men. This talk went on for a long long time. She said one thing so intensly that it changed my life forever. And I do not believe it was her speaking but the Holy Spirit through her. She said, "You believe or you dont. You cant pick and choice which parts of his word are true and false." WHOA! Something hit me hard. That's what I had been doing. There were somethings in the word that I simply questioned as truth. And realized all of a sudden, there was nothing to question. That night I had gone home and opened my bible and instead of reading it as "God prove you love me like these words say" and doubting them, I read them as if that previous friend was writing them to me. So instead of Paul writing a msg to his friends, it was her writing it to me. I had to do this for a wk or so and then I was free. This moment was when I surrendered. I said, "Ok, Lord, make me new and like you." From that moment on I've not feared speaking what he's told me to. I've stepped in boldness knowing he's there. I've been told of my gifts and I recieve them as truth. And my world has been ROCKED! I've never wanted to speak or be around people so much in my entire life!!!!!
Maybe I should have shared this before but Ive always been a very independant person. Im super intreverted, meaning being in groups takes a lot of energy and being alone gives it to me. I now get bummed if Im not with someone at least for a little bit daily. God has truly renewed and transformed my heart. That fire I spoke of before is now not a lighter in my heart...its an entire bon fire. I have no desire but to go out and share with people. Talk to them and just love them. When I say talk to them I dont mean "convert" them to Christianity. Nope. I just desire with all my heart to know and love them. And sometimes I've wondered if thats right. Not wanting to welcome them into the kingdom. But God just tells me, "Child, I command you love people. Thats what I desire of my people."
To me this is amazing! And I want to encourage everyone! I truly believe that God seeks us, we accept him, and then he seeks to USE us... and he canonly do that once we surrender. Its the hardest thing in a lot of ways because you think you are. You think, "Lord, I've given you my life." But I feel that when you really do, he just nails you so hard that you know when you finally have. Its almost like he flips a light switch on inside of you and you get what he really wants from you. So COOL! So if for some reason you're down about your walk... dont give up he's still prepping and working with you. And when he's done he'll flip the switch and the second leg of your journy will begin!
Now, I am not saying that God isnt working through you all the time. He totally is. And im not claiming ppl dont know Christ instantly when they accept him. I just feel many people get discouraged too quickly. I often hear people say, "I always knew Christ but something wasnt right..." I think what was missing was the surrender.
I hope this finds your hearts. Gods so good.
Love,
Kris
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